So, I’m sitting here trying to convince myself that I’m worth more than someone else’s opinion. However, this one person, is my heart… and when your heart tells you that you don’t matter, it’s hard not to believe it. It’s one thing to feel this way your whole life and not know any better, but my heart, this boy, used to love me back. Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? I don’t know. I struggle with this question almost daily. This is a huge question for me to ponder since I have built my whole life on love. I’ve always put it above everything else. It was all I was looking for. UNTIL I found it and lost it. After that, all I could think about was losing it. It occurred to me that even if I get married and spend 60 wonderful years with my significant other, that there is a 50 percent chance that person will die before me. A 50 percent chance of LOSING LOVE, and that TERRIFIED me. But is that scarier than a life with no love at all? I really don’t know. When I was in love the first time I thought it was the best thing ever but now when I’m in love, I’m just scared the entire time…waiting for it to end.